Rachel Friedmann

People throw this term around a lot and as someone who does social media as part of her job I decided to further explore the definition. When I started my search, I immediately found a great blog post from 2008 “What I Want a Social Media Expert to Know.” I was pleased to to know that I could quickly check off everything on his list, but I wanted to delve deeper into the definition on my own.

As someone with a marketing background, I apply traditional marketing to anything I do on the web. From understanding your audience, to knowing what will be value added content; there is more to social media than just knowing how to set up a blog, SEO, or knowing all the names of the most popular social networking sites.

One under-recognized area is the building of relationships both on and off line. One of the quickest ways to get recognized and bring traffic to your site is by conversing with others. I like to think of Malcolm Gladwell who discusses how influencers, mavens, and connectors can move ideas. One of the keys to success in online marketing is connecting with the influencers in your industry. As I am writing this, I typed into Google “gladwell influencers” and one of the first links was Increasing Social Media ROI Using Gladwell’s Tipping Point Framework

Apparently, I am not the first to think of this idea. This is a great slideshow that shows how to bring Gladwell’s ideas into your social media strategy.

Since I can and do this, I will call myself a social media connector/maven for now.

“Along with other ‘noisy’ aspects of modern life, such excessive background social stimulation is very likely part of the reason why we see increasing levels of mental illness in most societies…the WHO expects that by 2020 mental illness will be the second most important cause of disability and morality worldwide…with the most common being anxiety disorder.” (See pages 120-121 in Pandora’s Seed)

The evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar showed that the average group size is closely related to brain size in various animal species. The larger the brain, the larger the group size because the brain can then keep track of more social connections or relationships. The human-sized brain is predicted at 150 for group sizes. This group size is found everywhere from military to hunter-gather bands. According to Dunbar, it isn’t that we cant remember more than this number; it’s a matter of what relationships are considered meaningful. We can remember up to 2,000 people, but 150 is the cap for meaningful relationships – hmm…did you just go and check your Facebook friend count?

Above the number of 150 it is hard to treat everyone the same way you would in a smaller group. In the past, communities have been known to spilt after they arrive at 150 members for this reason. We begin dehumanizing one another with passing comments – example: Facebook birthday posts. These passing acknowledgments are relatively meaningless. Our minds can’t handle that many social interactions and therefore we begin by dehumazing each other even in close quarters – think planes, hallways, sidewalks, and subways. People look at their blackberries or the floor to avoid having even more interactions than we already do. According to Wells’ in his book Pandora’s Seed, these are the reasons for the steepening increase in mental illness- we can’t handle the social interaction overload. Think about the number of email, social networking, and calendars we have to keep track of – its enough for even the calmest person to get anxious.

The only suggestion is to cut out the excess in our lives or create our own split – um, is that possible? I guess that’s why so many people are hiring others to handle their social media.

I first learned about Dunbar’s Rule or the Rule of 150 in Malcolm Gladwell’s book The Tipping Point. He states that the optimal number of individuals in a society that someone can have real social relationships with is 150, therefore companies and communities are most effective when they are less than 150 in number. I challenge anyone to sit down and write down the name of everyone you are in regular contact with – friends and family. This should not include all 1000 of your Facebook fans.

I am an avid reader and have to get in my fix of easy reading. I was surprised when I read in Cosmo magazine that we only really keep in touch and have relationships with 150 of our friends on Facebook. In Spencer Well’s Pandora’s Seed, he makes a connection between our hunter-gather ancestors and Facebook. In his book, he states that the average number of friends people have on Facebook is 130, just under the 150 cut off. Therefore, for the majority of Facebook users that want to stay in touch and share with those they have the closest relationships with just like bands of hunter-gathers that didn’t go behind that count in their groups.

The next time you think about adding another Facebook friend, consider whether or not they fall within your 150? I know I probably won’t….

I first heard of the no asshole policy during an interview – “we don’t hire and we don’t have clients, who are assholes.” I loved the idea so when I heard there was book, I had to pick it up from the library. In Robert I. Sutton’s book, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t, he has a few gems advice thrown in amidst  a plethora of scientific research.

Although, the book intends to facilitate navigating a difficult work environment, his advice can also be used in social media. He quotes Univ. of Michigan’s Karl Weick “Fight as if you are right, listen as if you are wrong.” At Intel they use this model for having constructive arguments in order to help facilitate a better working environment and to lose less time over small emotional arguments. I agree that this is great advice for not only the workplace, but in our everyday interactions.

Of course, I always think about how advice like this can be related back to the wonderful world of the web. Many companies set up Twitter and other social networking accounts to help subdue upset clients, respond to customer inquires, and/or found out how to offer better services or products. I think that anyone who is handling social media should also consider Karl Weick’s advice. One of things many forget to do while online is to really listen to their customers, not just react. Listen as though you are wrong; in the eyes of an upset customer you are.

In this telecommuting world, many meetings are being conducted using information technologies. Sutton’s book references a study by Stanford’s Pamela Hinds and Diane Bailey showing that conflict can be higher and trust lower when information technologies are used rather than face-to-face meetings.  Emails and phone calls provide little information in the form of facial and body language cues and verbal intonations. Without in-person interactions, it is easier for people to create overtly negative opinions of one another. I have longed believed that not meeting in person can lead to more miscommunication. How often have you or a co-worker misread in an email and then had to deal with the consequences? See my blog post: Miscommunication via Email

And one last gem, not related to the internet. A good way to assess an organization or detect whether a co-worker is an “asshole” is to listen for the word we instead of I or me in meetings and conversations.

Well, I managed to check my email less often over the last couple of days, but did not manage my twice a day goal. This world has become too demanding and time sensitive, but I am going to continue working towards this goal.

One thing I noticed was that I have been spending last time on listserv and mass emails. A while ago, I started using filters to pull emails from going into my inbox and instead moving them into a ToRead folder. This has helped me immensely. My blackberry blinks red less often and I have spent more time focusing on the important emails rather than filtering through all my other emails. In doing this, email is starting to become less of a chore.

As I continue to try to lessen my addiction to always being connected, I highly recommend Leo Babauta’s blog Zen Habits (zenhabits.net). I first heard about him while reading Seth Godin’s latest book, Linchpin. Zen Habits promotes simplifying your life and focusing on the things you enjoy. Give it a try and let me know your thoughts.

In a world that requires multi-tasking and multi-apping, it can be a bit much. A while ago I read The 4-Hour Work Week (http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/). While I can’t image the author’s lifestyle, I did like some of his ideas on managing your time while at work. My favorite was bucketing your time. For example, the author sets times during the week to look at his email and respond.

In this fast paced world it seems impossible to only look at your email twice a day. Every once in a while I try, and then my email addiction takes over. I often wonder if I would be more productive if I did not constantly monitor my email and social networks. I have heard that when multi-tasking it takes your brain longer to refocus from one task to the next and therefore making you less productive. I am going to try an experiment tomorrow and will report back. I will only check my email at 10am and 4pm – let’s see if it works.