Rachel Friedmann

“Along with other ‘noisy’ aspects of modern life, such excessive background social stimulation is very likely part of the reason why we see increasing levels of mental illness in most societies…the WHO expects that by 2020 mental illness will be the second most important cause of disability and morality worldwide…with the most common being anxiety disorder.” (See pages 120-121 in Pandora’s Seed)

The evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar showed that the average group size is closely related to brain size in various animal species. The larger the brain, the larger the group size because the brain can then keep track of more social connections or relationships. The human-sized brain is predicted at 150 for group sizes. This group size is found everywhere from military to hunter-gather bands. According to Dunbar, it isn’t that we cant remember more than this number; it’s a matter of what relationships are considered meaningful. We can remember up to 2,000 people, but 150 is the cap for meaningful relationships – hmm…did you just go and check your Facebook friend count?

Above the number of 150 it is hard to treat everyone the same way you would in a smaller group. In the past, communities have been known to spilt after they arrive at 150 members for this reason. We begin dehumanizing one another with passing comments – example: Facebook birthday posts. These passing acknowledgments are relatively meaningless. Our minds can’t handle that many social interactions and therefore we begin by dehumazing each other even in close quarters – think planes, hallways, sidewalks, and subways. People look at their blackberries or the floor to avoid having even more interactions than we already do. According to Wells’ in his book Pandora’s Seed, these are the reasons for the steepening increase in mental illness- we can’t handle the social interaction overload. Think about the number of email, social networking, and calendars we have to keep track of – its enough for even the calmest person to get anxious.

The only suggestion is to cut out the excess in our lives or create our own split – um, is that possible? I guess that’s why so many people are hiring others to handle their social media.

This morning my Blackberry was on the fritz when a friend was supposed to be dropping off keys at my apartment. Since I wasn’t sure if she could get through to me, I sat outside and waited for her. Not knowing that she was running late, I sat there content for a good half-hour watching people going in and out of the building, listening to the birds, the trees, and nature. Eventually, she showed up and everything was back to normal with my phone. While I was waiting, I realized that in the past, when we were not so dependent upon cell phones this would have been a normal occurrence. Someone make plans with someone, someone runs late, and the other person waits. It was nice to wait this morning. We don’t do that anymore.

Technology has enabled us to do so many different things, but has taken away these periods of time when we do nothing. In some ways, it saddens me that relaxation usually requires an activity, even a passive one like watching television. In a few minutes, a friend is coming over to sit with me by the pool. Instead of laying and doing nothing, we will most likely talk for a bit and then read. Although it will be relaxing, there is still a desire to do something. Every once in a while, we should travel back in time to the days without cell phones and constant contact. Take a break from it all and relax. Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Well, I managed to check my email less often over the last couple of days, but did not manage my twice a day goal. This world has become too demanding and time sensitive, but I am going to continue working towards this goal.

One thing I noticed was that I have been spending last time on listserv and mass emails. A while ago, I started using filters to pull emails from going into my inbox and instead moving them into a ToRead folder. This has helped me immensely. My blackberry blinks red less often and I have spent more time focusing on the important emails rather than filtering through all my other emails. In doing this, email is starting to become less of a chore.

As I continue to try to lessen my addiction to always being connected, I highly recommend Leo Babauta’s blog Zen Habits (zenhabits.net). I first heard about him while reading Seth Godin’s latest book, Linchpin. Zen Habits promotes simplifying your life and focusing on the things you enjoy. Give it a try and let me know your thoughts.

I can’t count how many texts I sent/received today and am afraid to know the number. Between meet-ups with friends and a meeting time change I felt like my day was spent entirely on my blackberry.

I worry as I often do about how society is changing the rules of how we interact. Are these dissected conversations we regularly have with those closest to us bringing us closer together or diluting relationships? We take for granted that our friends and families will respond immediately to a text or call and are quickly annoyed if they don’t.

The question still remains swirling around my mind – are we better off with the way we communicate now than we were 10 years ago?